Got to Luton Airport at 6.30, enough time for a pint of Grolsch before checking in, lovely. Arrived at the Hotel Roma in the historic centre of Prague at around midnight, had a shower and went for a quick stroll about the streets near the hotel. Found a nice little local bar called the Shadows Café. You can still smoke in there and it was a marvellously unfriendly atmosphere where the staff slam your pint down and grunt at you. I sat down with my girl for a couple before retiring to our room for the evening ready to pick up the hire car in the morning to follow Valerie, a friend of the bride to Litomerice and the venue for the wedding.
On awakening on Friday morning after showers we were presented with a breakfast of dry bread and some deliciously sour yoghurt. I also had some stale cornflakes with warm milk whilst my girl had a suspiciously spherical fried egg with tiny weeny little smoked sausages, she seemingly enjoyed the cuisine as much as me.
We went to reception and I explained that we were waiting for a hire car to be delivered at 10am, they said “yes we know, they are running late and will be here at 10.10”. So that was good, we sat down and waited.
Sure enough we were called at 10.10 as promised and told to go with this rather large unwashed gentleman who didn’t speak any English, no problem. So off we went and got into a taxi, presumably to take us to the hire car destination.
10 minutes into the journey my girl mentions quietly that it seems to be a long way to the hire car place. Hmm, yes, and just then my mobile rang. It was the hire car company asking us if we still wanted the car. Yes, I said, we are on our way to you now. She then spoke in Czech but sounded very concerned. So I phoned my Czech friend Lenka who was also going to the wedding. Could you call the hire car company for me? and explain that we are on the way to them to pick the car up? She called back and said we shouldn’t be on our way anywhere, the hire car people are at the hotel! It was then with utter joy that we discovered we were near the airport and had taken another English persons taxi. We must all look the same to hotel staff and they just pointed, and I just went.
Well we got the company to redeliver the hire car to the airport, and we got Valerie to meet us there so we could follow, and that we did, at about 60mph through many Czech villages, arriving after 2 stops for toilets and dry food, 40 minutes before the wedding ceremony.
Quick shower, Suit on, no time to shave and we hot footed it to a beautiful park in Litomerice where we saw a bona fide Czech wedding. Couldn’t understand a word of it but it looked very romantic and I said to the bride “Ici heska naviesta” or “you’re a lovely bride”, after a moment of thought she looked quite pleased.
Then off we went for a meal of meat before meeting back up with the wedding party at 5pm at the hotel. After the meat sweats we got down to mingling and discovered that the bar was free and the food was meat, so that was nice. Much booze and meat later and we were treated to a Salsa lesson run by Mr handsome but could be gay maybe bi. Me and a newly made Czech acquaintance sneaked off to watch the England match, it was abysmal but frankly was something of a relief.
I got a nice slow dance and a bit of a kiss and cuddle in the kind of disco I’d not attended since school, schmoozing to the likes of Phil Collins.
Later I was honoured to watch my girl dance sexy salsa style with Mr handsome but could be gay maybe bi. I wasn’t very happy to watch this but stored it up for later argument.
Overall it was a very interesting and heart warming affair with lots of meat and drink.
Next morning we missed breakfast and drove back to Prague feeling a little bit delicate and hungry.
In the evening we had a great meal on the other side of the bridge, next to a night club / strip bar. We didn’t go in there and had a quite early night.
After a lovely lie in we went for a boat trip with historical commentary, had a beer and a cuddle, very nice. I had potato soup with fried potato with bacon and she had bell peppers stuffed with meat and rice. They didn’t look like bell peppers and we couldn’t see any rice but it tasted good, sort of Italian, and my potatos were good too.Back at the airport on Sunday I tried to explain to the matronly check in lady that I was unable to print my boarding card for the return journey, she didn’t smile but pointed to the Prague Airport official ticket touts and so I went over and paid 520 CZK’s (about £17) for them to print out a bit of paper for me to take to the end of a queue and have 2 bits of card printed, then we could check in our luxuary luggage and sit and wait for our delayed plane. Still, we had a beer and a laugh and a good nights sleep back in England…